People are feigning confusion when it comes to being non-black and saying the N-word. I believe it’s because they want to cling to the notion that they have permission and some God-given right to say the word.
When it comes to the n-word, if you are not black, don’t say it. Ever. For any reason, under any circumstances. At the very least, please don’t say it public. Please don’t say it on camera. Please don’t post yourself saying it to your social media. Please don’t post yourself singing it in a song on Instagram.
Let’s make it even simpler. If the slur would never realistically be used against you and therefore, cannot realistically cause you any pain, then you don’t get to say it. Just like it’s not realistic that someone would call me the F-word, the one that rhymes with rag.
I don’t get to say that word because I am not gay. The F-word is not my word to reclaim. I’m not the one who gets to decide that it’s “just a word” and “people need to stop giving it power because it doesn’t mean anything,” because it does. The F-word still does mean a lot to many gay people.
Even if I had a gay friend come to me and tell me that it was okay for me to say that word because I was down, I still wouldn’t use it. Why would I need to use that word?
More importantly, why would I want to use that word? Getting a pass from one person or even a handful of people in that marginalised group doesn’t take away from the fact that the slur still hurts a lot of other people in that group. So, it’s straightforward; I don’t say the word. It’s basic respect.
For example, if I had a YouTube channel and someone decided to call me a bitch under the comments of a video I made, I would block them immediately. I can call me a bitch, but no one else can. It’s the same type of thing with the N-word. Despite how often you hear black people saying the N-word nowadays, it has never been, and it will never be, “just a word.”
They’ll even be some black people that will chime into this argument by saying that, we can’t decide who does and does not get to say a word. I counter that, of course; we can. Or at least, of course, we can philosophically. We can’t enforce it, but deciding who does and does not get to do this or that is the very foundation of society. Black people’s feelings on this run the entire spectrum. Some black people say the N-word all day while other black people feel like no one should say it.
Now, I think it’s 100% unrealistic to believe that they’ll ever be a day where no one says the N-word ever. That’s not on the table. The N-word is here to stay. But, on an emotional level, I think that both stances are valid and I don’t judge any other black person for how they choose to heal and deal. Whether they say it a lot or whether they never say it all. We all cope in different ways.
Personally, even though I am black, I often feel uncomfortable using the word because I’ve never felt marginalised by it and using it feels like I am disrespecting those that do feel marginalised by it. Therefore, I try to use the word as little as possible because I don’t find pleasure in using words that were previously used to oppress people. However, on occasion, I do use the word to make a point about how black people are viewed in certain situations due to racism and racist systems.
Look, if we’re going to play this game of pretending to be confused and acting like the N-word is “just word,” then we need to consider that if the word didn’t exist, there would be another word. Another word to dehumanise or disenfranchise black people in the same way that the N-word does.
The word, the N-word encompasses all of the violence, disenfranchisement, racism and bigotry that has been directed at black people on a systematic and personal basis for centuries. So, on the most surface level, yes, the N-word is just a word. However, white supremacy is what makes it impossible for the N-word to "just be a word" because it makes sure that racist systems continue as they are. When you get down to it, black people have never been the ones giving the N-word its power so please don’t say that it should be okay for everyone to say it because rappers say it. I am not responsible for what rappers do and are you seriously going to use Jay-Z as your moral compass?
To the people that are non-black and use the N-word, please, grow up! You would rather be amoral and disrespect an entire race of people because 21 Savage says it in a song? I assume that a lot of non-black people are saying the word in private, yet you still want to complain because you are being asked not to mention the word in front of or to black people, or not to post videos of yourselves singing it on Instagram. That’s the issue, I suppose.
Some of you are more concerned about how you perceive yourselves to be losing some God-given right by not being able to say the word in public. More accurately, you don’t want black people to have anything that you cannot take for yourselves.
Seriously, you don’t care enough about or respect black people enough not to say one word. We’re just asking for the courtesy of not saying it in front of or to us. At least pretend you never say it, we’re just asking you to act, which isn’t asking much. Some non-black people are so arrogant that you can’t even do that.
Some non-black people want to act oppressed because we’re asking you not to use a racial slur that is arguably the most inflammatory and hurtful word in the entire English language. A word that was reclaimed because of the unspeakable violence, cruelty and dehumanisation that it suggests.
Somehow we’re at a point where some non-black people sincerely believe that not being able to say a racial slur in front of or to black people means that they are being oppressed. Really?
If you think that it’s unfair that only black people get to decide whether non-black people say the N-word or not, then call it reparations. If you are non-black, then the N-word is not yours to reclaim, and it’s not your word to say, “it’s just a word.” The fact that some non-black people will fight so hard on something that we literally cannot make you do, shows that you’re willing to fight harder to continue being offensive than to stop saying one word out of respect to black people.
Many non-black people who use the N-word will claim to respect black people as a reason to be allowed to use the word, but when we ask them not to publically advertise their use of the word because it doesn’t make us feel respected, they become angry, defensive and dismissive. In fact, I bet there are some people who will read this and still say that the N-word is just word.
If it was “just a word,” would you fight to continue saying it? No, you wouldn’t. Fighting to say that word is about you people desiring to assert privilege and supremacy. If it were just word, then you would let it go.
To summarise, the N-word is and always will be a racial slur when used by non-black people. So, if you choose to still use the word in front of or to black people, a corollary of that might be someone calling you racist. Don’t become angry, defensive and dismissive. Accept the term because that’s what you are. Don’t use the word in front of or to black people if you don’t want to be viewed as racist. It’s as simple as that. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.