Just keep walking

“Get up, dust yourself off and just keep walking.”― Katayi Kasapatu

I’m pissed off for failing, but I have to remind myself that he never said he’d catch me.

“Get up, dust yourself off and just keep walking,” I have to tell myself.

The next time I fall, I’ll have to remind myself to check that the guy wants to catch me and that he’s able to do so. Then, maybe I won’t wind up bleeding so much.

I’m bleeding too often and the evidence is everywhere. It’s leaking on the friendship that we built up together. Through late-night conversations, laughter and love.

Platonic love, though. But, my heart refused to comprehend the fact that the love was PLATONIC. It refused to acknowledge that you didn’t fall with me. It didn’t want to believe that the only boy I’ve ever cared about in that capacity simply didn’t want to or couldn't catch me.

So, now the red I see him covered in is from my anger. Unjustified anger, because once again, he never said that he would catch me. He's never wanted to catch me. But, I dreamed that he did. More often than I’ll admit to myself because he’s just not that into me.

Thank God he doesn’t know that I tripped and fell over nothing solid, nothing firm. I tripped and fell over a fantasy I created in my head.

Yes, it’s definitely for the best that he doesn’t know. That he never knows because I definitely caught an L. And no, L doesn’t stand for love. It stands for loss.