Trigger warning: this post talks about suicidal thoughts and death.
Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you into a place of honour.
Acknowledge that you are someone that can help change the world, but only through him. He’s the only one that is mighty to save, and help you become the person you need to be.
Don’t back down. Don’t shut down. Don’t ignore your feelings. Never that! Acknowledge them and use them to push you further into the presence of God.
Nothing can keep you from His presence! Remember that! It’s something that will keep you soaring with the eagles even people think that you shouldn’t be mourning. Yes, there is a time and a place to cry though. Cry when you should. Laugh when you should. Dance when you should. Fight when you should. Give up when you should. Hold on when you should. Let go when you should. Let go of things, feelings and people that keep you from being who God called you to be. They might not be trying to keep you from your destiny. But, when you’re giving time and energy to something that you could be spending on getting to know God and what He wants to use you for, then it becomes a problem.
I know it’s hard, but you have to let it go. If it's yours, it will come back, and if it wasn’t, you can spend time on becoming the person that God wants you to be. You could spend your time helping people get to know the person if Jesus Christ. That’s the most important mission there is. Not marriage, finding friends, reconciling with family or having a family.
While those things are important because God does want us to enjoy relationships, they don’t have to be forced or chased down. Everything that should be will be. Yes, if you feel the need to fight for marriage, friendship and family members and a family. Go ahead. But, don’t fight for something that leaves you feeling as though you are not worth fighting for.
You are so worth it, and you will be blessed. So, humble yourself. Acknowledge that the lack of meaningful relationships and the lack of interaction from people that you care about, sometimes makes you feel unwanted. Acknowledge that you sometimes place your value on the creation and not the creator. Seek God and His Kingdom, above all else and find something more valuable than temporary relationships. Find love, find joy, find peace, find patience, find kindness, find goodness, find faithfulness, find gentleness and find self-control. Not as the world gives it, but as God provides. Abundantly and without hesitation.
Take time for yourself. Just keep breathing in the air that God provided you with. I know it’s hard sometimes. I know breathing sometimes feels like a task you’d rather not have. I’ve been there. Trust me, I know how it feels to wish for death in one of its many forms regularly. I want you to know that I understand what it’s like because I’ve gone through that too. I get it. What you see is crappy. You see yourself. You see death. Over and over. Day in and day out.
I wish I could say that the depression went away the moment I encountered God, but it isn’t true. I pretended that it went away and it didn’t help. It just made my life feel more unstable because some days were good and others were terrible, all in the same laboured breath.
It’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to keep your eyes fixed on your pain. Just keep breathing! There is so much more than what you feel if you’re bold enough to look up. Bold enough to see that there’s a light above your head. That light comes from the cross. It comes from Jesus, the King of peace. With everything you feel and everything you experience, remember that you are not lost in all of that. You are not forgotten. You are found in Christ, and you’re loved more than you know.
Just keep breathing through it all. As Brian Houston says in his book, our lives have a personal roadmap, an exclusive purpose that can’t be matched to anyone else. That path is ready for us to overcome and lead us to the place of honour that God has for us if we choose to humble ourselves and submit to Him. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gotten on the journey of life or how victories and losses you’ve had. In that place, the place where God matters more than your personal agenda, you will find people that will fight for you. People that reach out to you when they know that you need a hand. People that reach out to you just because they love spending time with you. People that want to be around you. People that value you. People that share the same vision as you. People that are willing to understand you. People that do appreciate you. People that love God more than they love you.
Of course, movement and growth isn’t going to come without trouble. There will be people who don’t appreciate you. People who tear you down. People who lie. People who don’t care. People who will pretend to care just to get what they want, but it’s okay.
Earlier this week, I was reading “Stay the Path” by Bobbie Houston, and I was confronted by a particular chapter in her book she called “Stay Within the Battlescape: The Frontline.” It helped me realise that as children of God, we should make mincemeat of our enemies!
No matter where you are in life or what you’ve done, you can always count on God to intervene—and if all of hell tries to fight you, and it will, God is a Good Shepherd (Psalm 23). He can make a table before you in the presence of those enemies. An indication that amid adversity, we should all learn from Proverbs 31. It teaches us to rise and turn any problem, pain and panic into a spiritual meal or a message that could benefit others in running their race to God.
I know this message is a little all over the place, but it’s the message that was on my heart, and I wanted to share it with you!